Recently, Lauren posted a blog entry detailing her getting signed to small London-based modeling agency, Profile Model Management. Here is a screencap of her blog post, which she has interestingly since removed:
Lauren went to London with Merry and met with a woman named Simone Hellicar, who is a booker for the agency. Basically, Lauren got signed through her connection with her photographer friend, Merry Philips. I say 'connections' because:
This status update was posted on the same day that they went to London to meet with Simone Hellicar. I mean, it could be a coincidence, I guess. But something tells me it's not.
News of Lauren getting signed was posted to efagz. This sparked a bit of an outrage, as Lauren is not only technically too old to get signed to Profile, but all of her recent illegal antics combined with her seeming refusal to take responsibility for any of her poorly-thought-out actions make for one looming, collective question of "What on earth has this person done to deserve an opportunity like this? How can someone brazenly steal from her own followers, do Class A narcotics live on webcam, lie, cheat, and steal her way though life, and get rewarded for it?"
As a result, many members of efagz as well as Tumblr users began emailing Profile via the website and Facebook. Here are just a few different accounts of more than one person contacting the agency. The first one was posted to one of the efagz sister communities, wefagz:
This was posted by another user on Tumblr:
And this is an email that was forwarded to me by someone who contacted Profile under the alias "Alice":
This is the response that "Alice" received from Christophe Chalvet de Recy, the director of Profile:
Really professional--misspellings, faint hostility and all!
What exactly would be gained by meeting the director in person to say it, anyway? That's like responding with "Say it to ma FACE!", something a bratty teenager would retort. (Except that one actually did recently. Oops!)
Alice's response to Christophe:
What I'm having trouble understanding is why the agency would assume that there was only one person contacting them about Lauren. I just find it odd. Is it really that inconceivable that a lot of different people feel that Lauren getting handed this opportunity, despite scamming others and publicizing her drug use, is not right?
Lauren also doesn't like to listen to those who actually do take the time to photograph her. Here she is ignoring Alexandra Cameron's simple request that she take the unedited photos off of her portfolio on her website and replace them with Alex's finished photographs.
Sounds like someone who seems really great and professional to work with, right? She never actually removed those photos, either... that's nice. Also, they weren't really unedited.
What a few others have been saying about this via Tumblr:
And how about these tweets she posted about her recent Boy London shoot?
Or blaming the retoucher (who, amazingly, wasn't her) for why her neck looks wider than her head?
Never stop blaming others for your own shortcomings, Lauren. It'll get you far.
As if Lauren's inability to act professionally combined with her controlling nature when it comes to her excessive retouching AND trashing the work of other photographers when she doesn't like how she looks isn't enough of a deterrent for potential colleagues, here are some screenshots of Lauren complaining about being sick/not having slept before all of the recent shoots she's had.
Yes, Lauren. You've had an ill-gotten opportunity handed to you due to connections and yet you can only whine and complain about it to anyone who will listen on Twitter. Fuck your life, indeed.
She also made the brilliant decision to get her entire side tattooed with Goetic demonic sigils after getting signed to a reputedly clean-cut, "girly" and decidedly un-alternative agency:
Just in case everything outlined above somehow still hasn't convinced anyone that Lauren is, at best, unprofessional and unqualified to represent an agency, I encourage you to read the upcoming post on the Failice blog exploring her wealth of talents as a model. Just kidding, it's pretty much the same picture of her over and over again showing off her 3 poses: just standing there staring, covering her tits while looking off to the side, and looking down. Also squatting. But mostly looking vacant and exactly the same in every single picture.
I leave you with this heartbreaking work of staggering genius, Lauren's most expressive, stirring and artistic photo yet:
Until next time!